you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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