I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
