Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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