I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
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