You're so nebulous sometimes
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I cut my penus on the lid.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
