He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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