I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
