two words: eviction party
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
