Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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