He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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