Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
