His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize