i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
