4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
