drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
