Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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