So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
