I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
