It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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