May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize