I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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