So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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