is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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