it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
