I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
