i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize