Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
