I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
