So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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