Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
be right there i have to get my cape
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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