i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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