My boss' voice literally gives me gas
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
It's official drugs can't kill me
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Someone signed my nipple.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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