Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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