So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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