Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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