My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
