Pants 0. Shit 1.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
