Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
