I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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