that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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