Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
