why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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