Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
whose ass print is on the piano?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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