She's JV to your varsity
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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