He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
