She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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