Screwed.edu
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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