you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
