wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
