Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
