we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
