I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I AM VODKA MAN
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize