so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
