She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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