I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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