i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
