whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Fuck me I smell like cheese
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
